I recently had an operation to have a nasal polyp removed from my sinus cavity (basically a non-cancerous growth).
This is the second one I've had, and the last time I sent some videos to my friends in my drugged up state. Only afterwards I realized how hilarious and nonsensical they were, so this time I decided to keep a little bit of a journal of all the randoms drug-induced thoughts I was having, and this what they resulted in:
I'm having an op at Jummah time.
Is this a sign I'm going to die?
Am I ready to die?
I've had a good life haven't I?
I'm not afraid of dying. Sure my mom would miss me. But hey, life insurance would pay out to my her.
Oh Jesus. Take the wheel.
Anaesthesiologist: "Oh my, what lovely veins you've got".
Just say orange juice.
Me: "Cranberry please".
Cottage pie, or chicken & mushroom pie?
Wait, what's the difference?
I think the room is moving backwards.
What I mean is, things are moving backwards.
As in, away from me.
Things are retreating.
God, is English always this hard?
Is thinking always this hard?
Did that lady really just leave my door open?
*Presses the 'call nurse' button*
Me: "Hi, how long do I have to wait until I can drink some water?"
Nurse: "I'll find out".
Me: "Okay thanks, and please close the door".
Geez, I have so many messages on my phone.
Can't deal with people right now.
Also, hello, I can't form a proper sentence even if I tried?
Put the phone down, Rash.
Twitter is so much fun.
*Snorts at something funny*
OW?!!!
How are people so funny?
Why can't I be funny?
Great, now I can't stop crying.
I really hope no one comes to see me like this.
I'm a total mess right now.That would be embarrassing.
What if no one comes to see me?
Like, at all?
CAN YOU STOP WITH THE CRYING?
Oh!
Food!
Yes! I haven't eaten since Thursday night, and it's like what, Maghrib on Friday already?
This is like a record, right?
Am I hungry though?
Do I really care.
Btw, where's that lady with my water??
Me to the Lady: "Yes, you can put the light on".
WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE.
Lady: "Can I put your bed up or must I just leave the food here on the trolley so long?"
I seriously don't want to move right now.
Plus, I've done this before, I know which buttons to press to move the bed up.
Me: "You can just leave it, thanks".
Water!
Yes!
Finally.
Where's that button for the bed?
Bingo.
*Presses button*
Nothing's happening?
*Presses another button*
WTF?
Oh! The power button, stupid.
*Presses power button and nothing happens*
Omg.
This is the second one I've had, and the last time I sent some videos to my friends in my drugged up state. Only afterwards I realized how hilarious and nonsensical they were, so this time I decided to keep a little bit of a journal of all the randoms drug-induced thoughts I was having, and this what they resulted in:
I'm having an op at Jummah time.
Is this a sign I'm going to die?
Am I ready to die?
I've had a good life haven't I?
I'm not afraid of dying. Sure my mom would miss me. But hey, life insurance would pay out to my her.
Oh Jesus. Take the wheel.
Anaesthesiologist: "Oh my, what lovely veins you've got".
Who is this old guy hitting on me through my veins?
My hearing is muffled. This stuff makes the world quieter??
Last thing I remember smelling before being put under was a mixture of biryani & sterilizer.
Jummah time in a slamse hospital (GMC) is weird like that.
Last thing I remember thinking as they were putting me to sleep:
"Woah."
Last thing I remember saying as they put me to sleep:
"Oh, its worki.."
[Dead to the world for a solid 2 & a half hours]
"Rasheeda, take a deep breath".
I am.
"Rasheeda? Take a deep breath, sweetheart".
Bitch, I AM.
"Give her a nebulizer".
I'm breathing?!
I refuse to open my eyes.
I can't.
Can I though if I wanted to?
Screw that, not even gonna try.
Someone: "We're just gonna put this over your face".
LET ME SLEEP.
Me: "What time is it? How long was the op?"
No, take off the nebulizer, it's hurting me. The air is too cold for my nose.
Why is no one listening to me?
Am I actually talking out loud or just thinking that I am?
Someone: "Just lift your head up quickly please?"
Sure thing.
Wait. No.
Stop.
I can't.
It hurts.
Did I just lift my head??
I'm freezing. Somebody, no really, help me. I'm freezing.
People, HELLO?
Can they see me waiving??
Me: "Guys, I'm really cold".
Am I going crazy? Can people hear me and are ignoring me, or is this all me thinking I'm talking only?
I could open my eyes to check but...do I really want to?
It hurts when I talk, so I must be talking.
Right?
God I'm thirsty.
Throat feels like sandpaper.
Did I dream while under? I think I dreamed.
That only felt like 10 minutes though?
Me: "Can someone tell me what the time is?".
Why must they wake a person just to make sure the anesthesia didn't kill you?
Rude.
So cold.
Like,
COLD.
Why does my left hand feel so dead?
Why is my left arm so cold?
Holy shit, I am actually freezing.
*Body starts to twitch*
Did I die?
All I want in life right now is a glass of water; a strepsil; BLANKETS; and a dark, sound-proof room to sleep.
JUST LET ME DIE.
*Opens eyes*
Why the hell is it so bright in here?
Are all these lights really necessary?
Me: "Nurse. My face is starting to kill me.
Nurse?
NURSE."
Oh FFS.
Me: "HELLOOOO?".
Did she really just tell me to ask the other lady?
Me: "Nurse, my face is really sore. Right here under my right eye".
Nurse: "Let me check what drugs were prescribed".
*Checks chart. Fiddles with my IV*
*BLISS*
I honestly can't tell whether I'm asleep or not.
I need to cover my face with the blanket. The air is way too cold for me. When I inhale, it's like I can feel it in my brain.
Someone: "Is sy alright?".
Someone else: "Ya, sy's koud".
Someone: "But can she breathe like that?".
No, I died. Leave me be.
Another someone: "Hoekom is daar a blanket op haar face?".
*Someone takes the blanket off my face*
"Are you okay?"
Jesus.
Jesus please help me.
Can someone please tell me when I'm going back to my room?
I keep hearing someone calling for a "PORTER!" But no one comes?
Cannot open my eyes again.
Why is this blanket not darker?
Can we quieten the world again? Please?
Okay, I know we're at least moving now, that much I can sense.
*My bed is bumped into a wall*
FML.
I hear what sounds like my mom:
"Oh, here she is.
What's wrong with her face??"
Someone: "No, she's just cold".
Mom: "How was it? Everything go okay? Rasheeda? How you feeling?"
Me: "Freezing.
Sore".
Nurse: "Wow, her hands and feet are like ice. Must I get her another blanket?".
YES, NURSE, I'M COLD.
But why are my neck & shoulders sore though?
Me: "Mommy, I have gloves in my bag, please put the one on for me. On my IV hand.
No, just one.
Yes, like Michael Jackson".
Nurse: "Oh shame, why are you crying?? Are you in pain??"
Me: "No, I'm cold".
Why am I crying??
Drugs are stupid.
Drugs are amazing.
Me: "And my socks & pyjama pants please Mommy?
I think I can pull my pants up from here, thanks".
NOPE.
That morphine is starting to kick in now.
Me: "Oh, Salaam, Daddy. Yes, my face is cold. Blanket stays on, thanks".
Can I move? Like, is it possible?
Oh, why bother.
Do people normally talk this much?
Are people always this loud?
People are annoying.
I wonder how long I must wait til I can get some water.
*Tries to swallow spit*
MOTHER FUCKING NO.
NEVER AGAIN.
Someone please quieten the sun down.
Me, with my blanket still on my face: "Yes, I'm still awake".
My entire body tingles.
Why am I so sore though?
I need to sleep.
I should sleep.
I wonder if I have any messages on my phone?
You can't even open your eyes, idiot. Forget your phone.
But people must be wondering if I'm okay?
Oh fuck it, I'm too tired.
Me: "Okay mommy, see you all tonight.
Yes, please bring my eye mask.
And another blanket. I'm FREEZING".
*Hours later*
Why the hell is it so hot?
Where am I?
Omg my face hurts.
OH THE PAIN.
I need to take these blankets off.
I can't move.
Can I move?
Someone get these blankets off.
OMG I'm gonna boil to death in a hospital bed.
*Lifts blanket*
HARDEST WORKOUT OF MY LIFE.
Thank God for drugs.
*Madonna starts playing in my head*
Give me all your drugs please, give me your drugs. Give me all your drugs today.
Drugs druggs druggges drugged drugged.
Is my mental speech also slurred?
Like, my thoughts I mean?
Are they also slurred when I think?
YUP.
Say yes to drugs, kids.
LOL.
*Passes out*
Lady: "Hi, just coming to take your order for tomorrow. Would you like yoghurt or fruit?"
Me: "Yes".
Lady: "You can't have both".
Rude?
Me: "What kind of yoghurt is it?"
DOES IT EVEN MATTER.
YOU CAN'T TASTE.
Me: "What kind of fruit?"
Seriously?
Idiot.
Just take the yoghurt.
Yes.
THE STRAWBERRY FLAVOUR.
DUH.
Do I really want All bran for breakfast tomorrow though?
That's gonna hurt like a mofo.
But cornflakes? No man.
Me: "All bran please.
Cold milk".
What if you're cold tomorrow?
Me: "Actually, warm milk".
Ew, warm milk? With All bran?
Me: "No. Cold milk. Thanks".
Cranberry, Apple, or Orange juice?
Is she really asking me to pick this NOW?
What if I want something less sweeter tomorrow?
My hearing is muffled. This stuff makes the world quieter??
Last thing I remember smelling before being put under was a mixture of biryani & sterilizer.
Jummah time in a slamse hospital (GMC) is weird like that.
Last thing I remember thinking as they were putting me to sleep:
"Woah."
Last thing I remember saying as they put me to sleep:
"Oh, its worki.."
[Dead to the world for a solid 2 & a half hours]
"Rasheeda, take a deep breath".
I am.
"Rasheeda? Take a deep breath, sweetheart".
Bitch, I AM.
"Give her a nebulizer".
I'm breathing?!
I refuse to open my eyes.
I can't.
Can I though if I wanted to?
Screw that, not even gonna try.
Someone: "We're just gonna put this over your face".
LET ME SLEEP.
Me: "What time is it? How long was the op?"
No, take off the nebulizer, it's hurting me. The air is too cold for my nose.
Why is no one listening to me?
Am I actually talking out loud or just thinking that I am?
Someone: "Just lift your head up quickly please?"
Sure thing.
Wait. No.
Stop.
I can't.
It hurts.
Did I just lift my head??
I'm freezing. Somebody, no really, help me. I'm freezing.
People, HELLO?
Can they see me waiving??
Me: "Guys, I'm really cold".
Am I going crazy? Can people hear me and are ignoring me, or is this all me thinking I'm talking only?
I could open my eyes to check but...do I really want to?
It hurts when I talk, so I must be talking.
Right?
God I'm thirsty.
Throat feels like sandpaper.
Did I dream while under? I think I dreamed.
That only felt like 10 minutes though?
Me: "Can someone tell me what the time is?".
Why must they wake a person just to make sure the anesthesia didn't kill you?
Rude.
So cold.
Like,
COLD.
Why does my left hand feel so dead?
Why is my left arm so cold?
Holy shit, I am actually freezing.
*Body starts to twitch*
Did I die?
All I want in life right now is a glass of water; a strepsil; BLANKETS; and a dark, sound-proof room to sleep.
JUST LET ME DIE.
*Opens eyes*
Why the hell is it so bright in here?
Are all these lights really necessary?
Me: "Nurse. My face is starting to kill me.
Nurse?
NURSE."
Oh FFS.
Me: "HELLOOOO?".
Did she really just tell me to ask the other lady?
Me: "Nurse, my face is really sore. Right here under my right eye".
Nurse: "Let me check what drugs were prescribed".
*Checks chart. Fiddles with my IV*
*BLISS*
I honestly can't tell whether I'm asleep or not.
I need to cover my face with the blanket. The air is way too cold for me. When I inhale, it's like I can feel it in my brain.
Someone: "Is sy alright?".
Someone else: "Ya, sy's koud".
Someone: "But can she breathe like that?".
No, I died. Leave me be.
Another someone: "Hoekom is daar a blanket op haar face?".
*Someone takes the blanket off my face*
"Are you okay?"
Jesus.
Jesus please help me.
Can someone please tell me when I'm going back to my room?
I keep hearing someone calling for a "PORTER!" But no one comes?
Cannot open my eyes again.
Why is this blanket not darker?
Can we quieten the world again? Please?
Okay, I know we're at least moving now, that much I can sense.
*My bed is bumped into a wall*
FML.
I hear what sounds like my mom:
"Oh, here she is.
What's wrong with her face??"
Someone: "No, she's just cold".
Mom: "How was it? Everything go okay? Rasheeda? How you feeling?"
Me: "Freezing.
Sore".
Nurse: "Wow, her hands and feet are like ice. Must I get her another blanket?".
YES, NURSE, I'M COLD.
But why are my neck & shoulders sore though?
Me: "Mommy, I have gloves in my bag, please put the one on for me. On my IV hand.
No, just one.
Yes, like Michael Jackson".
Nurse: "Oh shame, why are you crying?? Are you in pain??"
Me: "No, I'm cold".
Why am I crying??
Drugs are stupid.
Drugs are amazing.
Me: "And my socks & pyjama pants please Mommy?
I think I can pull my pants up from here, thanks".
NOPE.
That morphine is starting to kick in now.
Me: "Oh, Salaam, Daddy. Yes, my face is cold. Blanket stays on, thanks".
Can I move? Like, is it possible?
Oh, why bother.
Do people normally talk this much?
Are people always this loud?
People are annoying.
I wonder how long I must wait til I can get some water.
*Tries to swallow spit*
MOTHER FUCKING NO.
NEVER AGAIN.
Someone please quieten the sun down.
Me, with my blanket still on my face: "Yes, I'm still awake".
My entire body tingles.
Why am I so sore though?
I need to sleep.
I should sleep.
I wonder if I have any messages on my phone?
You can't even open your eyes, idiot. Forget your phone.
But people must be wondering if I'm okay?
Oh fuck it, I'm too tired.
Me: "Okay mommy, see you all tonight.
Yes, please bring my eye mask.
And another blanket. I'm FREEZING".
*Hours later*
Why the hell is it so hot?
Where am I?
Omg my face hurts.
OH THE PAIN.
I need to take these blankets off.
I can't move.
Can I move?
Someone get these blankets off.
OMG I'm gonna boil to death in a hospital bed.
*Lifts blanket*
HARDEST WORKOUT OF MY LIFE.
Thank God for drugs.
*Madonna starts playing in my head*
Give me all your drugs please, give me your drugs. Give me all your drugs today.
Drugs druggs druggges drugged drugged.
Is my mental speech also slurred?
Like, my thoughts I mean?
Are they also slurred when I think?
YUP.
Say yes to drugs, kids.
LOL.
*Passes out*
Lady: "Hi, just coming to take your order for tomorrow. Would you like yoghurt or fruit?"
Me: "Yes".
Lady: "You can't have both".
Rude?
Me: "What kind of yoghurt is it?"
DOES IT EVEN MATTER.
YOU CAN'T TASTE.
Me: "What kind of fruit?"
Seriously?
Idiot.
Just take the yoghurt.
Yes.
THE STRAWBERRY FLAVOUR.
DUH.
Do I really want All bran for breakfast tomorrow though?
That's gonna hurt like a mofo.
But cornflakes? No man.
Me: "All bran please.
Cold milk".
What if you're cold tomorrow?
Me: "Actually, warm milk".
Ew, warm milk? With All bran?
Me: "No. Cold milk. Thanks".
Cranberry, Apple, or Orange juice?
Is she really asking me to pick this NOW?
What if I want something less sweeter tomorrow?
Just say orange juice.
Me: "Cranberry please".
Cottage pie, or chicken & mushroom pie?
Wait, what's the difference?
I think the room is moving backwards.
What I mean is, things are moving backwards.
As in, away from me.
Things are retreating.
God, is English always this hard?
Is thinking always this hard?
Did that lady really just leave my door open?
*Presses the 'call nurse' button*
Me: "Hi, how long do I have to wait until I can drink some water?"
Nurse: "I'll find out".
Me: "Okay thanks, and please close the door".
Geez, I have so many messages on my phone.
Can't deal with people right now.
Also, hello, I can't form a proper sentence even if I tried?
Put the phone down, Rash.
Twitter is so much fun.
*Snorts at something funny*
OW?!!!
How are people so funny?
Why can't I be funny?
Great, now I can't stop crying.
I really hope no one comes to see me like this.
I'm a total mess right now.That would be embarrassing.
What if no one comes to see me?
Like, at all?
CAN YOU STOP WITH THE CRYING?
Oh!
Food!
Yes! I haven't eaten since Thursday night, and it's like what, Maghrib on Friday already?
This is like a record, right?
Am I hungry though?
Do I really care.
Btw, where's that lady with my water??
Me to the Lady: "Yes, you can put the light on".
WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE.
Lady: "Can I put your bed up or must I just leave the food here on the trolley so long?"
I seriously don't want to move right now.
Plus, I've done this before, I know which buttons to press to move the bed up.
Me: "You can just leave it, thanks".
Water!
Yes!
Finally.
Where's that button for the bed?
Bingo.
*Presses button*
Nothing's happening?
*Presses another button*
WTF?
Oh! The power button, stupid.
*Presses power button and nothing happens*
Omg.
The bed is broken.
JOY.
I can sit up though right?
NOPE.
It's fine, I'll just reach for it.
Where's the glass?
Good Lord.
She brought a pitcher and no glass.
All that effort and no reward.
Why are you punishing me like this, God?
*Cries*
Omg, I'm naked.
How did I forget I was naked?
What is pinching my arm like that?
There's a needle PUNCTURING YOU, REMEMBER?
No I need water. Let me call the nurse for a glass.
*Beeping noise happens*
*Someone looks into the window and walks away*
Da fuq?
KAY.
Let me see what food I got.
OH YES.
But wait, can I taste that?
No.
Tastes like nothing.
*Cries*
Me: "Hi, yes, can I get a glass for this water?"
Lady: "Here's the glass ma'am?"
It was behind the pitcher this whole time?!
FML.
*Takes a sip of water for the first time in 12 hours*
SWEET NECTAR OF THE GODS RIGHT THERE.
Let me put the TV on while I eat my nothingness.
Oh yeah, the Proteas are playing, right?
Is this match live?
I can't tell.
*Sigh* Can't watch this right now. Too slow.
I already feel slow as it is.
Friday night TV is stupid.
Wait a sec...
Do I....?
Do I taste salt?!
Yes. Ladies & gentlemen, YES.
I can taste salt!
*Douses food in salt*
Do you think they'll let me put salt on my All bran tomorrow?
I don't know what is in this burger, but it's soft and warm and therefore I like it.
Eating really shouldn't be this painful.
I have never seen Meet Joe Black.
I'm watching it midway and I have no idea what's going on.
I at least I know this is a movie because in real life, nobody pushes Hannibal Lecter around, especially not pretty boy, Pitt.
Why is he talking with a Jamaican accent though?
This movie is stupid.
It's taking me hours to open my jelly & custard because I refuse to bend the arm with the IV in it.
CRUEL.
*2 minutes later*
This jelly tastes kak.
It's like jelly and custard soup.
Not worth the struggle.
I wonder if Madiba ever felt that way?
*Hours later*
Me to Taslimah, my little sister:
"You need to help me pee.
Yes I'm butt naked.
Just deal.
Trust me, this hurts me more than you".
*Tries to sit up, room spins, falls back down*
Me: "Okay I can't get up.
Get some tissue, and make your hands into a cup shape.
What?
I NEED TO PEE."
*After they've left*
This nurse wants me to swallow pills the size of my pinky.
Is she then JAS.
"Cut it in half", she says.
"It won't scratch your throat", she says.
How about I klap you rather?
*Random nurse opens the door*
Nurse: "Are you diabetic??"
Me: "No...?"
Nurse: "Phew, ok good".
Uhm?
I feel super safe now, thanks.
*Later*
I can't sleep. The drugs have worn off.
I'm in pain
It's 3am.
Everyone is asleep and I can't sleep.
You know the nurse is going to come in here again in an hour to wake you to check you're not dead, right?
Or as she likes to call it "take your blood pressure".
I need more drugs.
Gimme the goods.
I'm not an addict, I just had an op?!
I'm in pain, leave me be.
I wonder how long I have to wait before the next batch of painkillers are given?
Whatever, I'll just watch Made in Chelsea on my laptop.
What kind of name is 'Caggie' anyways?
Sounds like a mode of transportation.
Is that short for something?
Catherine?
Candice
Camile.
Charlotte?
Cassandra?
...Cagassent?
I wonder what time is breakfast?
I know I ordered the eggs, but maybe I can get the pancakes too?
Stop judging.
It's 4am and a lady wants to come clean my bathroom.
Right now?
Seriously?
If I were sleeping & she woke me for THAT, I'd be pissed.
Yesssss. New drugssssss.
Who drinks tea / coffee at 5am?!
People are stupid.
Nurse: "You're a very nice patient. Quiet".
It's the drugs, lady.
The Help is on.
I could pull of a Southern accent pretty darn well.
*Mumbles something slurred*
I wonder if Emma Stone will marry Andrew Garfield?
She should organize with Ryan Gosling rather.
*Sigh*. Ryan Gosling.
[Day of checkout is here]
So much tiredness.
Last meal for the day.
Not even slightly hungry.
But yes, of course I can eat the dessert.
Mom's here. I can checkout!
I can go home & sleep!
Where's the nurse to get this pipe out my arm??
Me: "Omg no Mommy, you cannot pull it out. Do you want me to die?"
Nurse: "Bite your teeth. This is gonna hurt".
MOER.
Oh look, I no longer have hair on a patch of my arm from the massive sticker thing that just ripped it all out. Can I get pain meds for that?
No?
K.
Cool.
Thanks.
*DEUCES*
JOY.
I can sit up though right?
NOPE.
It's fine, I'll just reach for it.
Where's the glass?
Good Lord.
She brought a pitcher and no glass.
All that effort and no reward.
Why are you punishing me like this, God?
*Cries*
Omg, I'm naked.
How did I forget I was naked?
What is pinching my arm like that?
There's a needle PUNCTURING YOU, REMEMBER?
No I need water. Let me call the nurse for a glass.
*Beeping noise happens*
*Someone looks into the window and walks away*
Da fuq?
KAY.
Let me see what food I got.
OH YES.
But wait, can I taste that?
No.
Tastes like nothing.
*Cries*
Me: "Hi, yes, can I get a glass for this water?"
Lady: "Here's the glass ma'am?"
It was behind the pitcher this whole time?!
FML.
*Takes a sip of water for the first time in 12 hours*
SWEET NECTAR OF THE GODS RIGHT THERE.
Let me put the TV on while I eat my nothingness.
Oh yeah, the Proteas are playing, right?
Is this match live?
I can't tell.
*Sigh* Can't watch this right now. Too slow.
I already feel slow as it is.
Friday night TV is stupid.
Wait a sec...
Do I....?
Do I taste salt?!
Yes. Ladies & gentlemen, YES.
I can taste salt!
*Douses food in salt*
Do you think they'll let me put salt on my All bran tomorrow?
I don't know what is in this burger, but it's soft and warm and therefore I like it.
Eating really shouldn't be this painful.
I have never seen Meet Joe Black.
I'm watching it midway and I have no idea what's going on.
I at least I know this is a movie because in real life, nobody pushes Hannibal Lecter around, especially not pretty boy, Pitt.
Why is he talking with a Jamaican accent though?
This movie is stupid.
It's taking me hours to open my jelly & custard because I refuse to bend the arm with the IV in it.
CRUEL.
*2 minutes later*
This jelly tastes kak.
It's like jelly and custard soup.
Not worth the struggle.
I wonder if Madiba ever felt that way?
*Hours later*
Me to Taslimah, my little sister:
"You need to help me pee.
Yes I'm butt naked.
Just deal.
Trust me, this hurts me more than you".
*Tries to sit up, room spins, falls back down*
Me: "Okay I can't get up.
Get some tissue, and make your hands into a cup shape.
What?
I NEED TO PEE."
*After they've left*
This nurse wants me to swallow pills the size of my pinky.
Is she then JAS.
"Cut it in half", she says.
"It won't scratch your throat", she says.
How about I klap you rather?
*Random nurse opens the door*
Nurse: "Are you diabetic??"
Me: "No...?"
Nurse: "Phew, ok good".
Uhm?
I feel super safe now, thanks.
*Later*
I can't sleep. The drugs have worn off.
I'm in pain
It's 3am.
Everyone is asleep and I can't sleep.
You know the nurse is going to come in here again in an hour to wake you to check you're not dead, right?
Or as she likes to call it "take your blood pressure".
I need more drugs.
Gimme the goods.
I'm not an addict, I just had an op?!
I'm in pain, leave me be.
I wonder how long I have to wait before the next batch of painkillers are given?
Whatever, I'll just watch Made in Chelsea on my laptop.
What kind of name is 'Caggie' anyways?
Sounds like a mode of transportation.
Is that short for something?
Catherine?
Candice
Camile.
Charlotte?
Cassandra?
...Cagassent?
I wonder what time is breakfast?
I know I ordered the eggs, but maybe I can get the pancakes too?
Stop judging.
It's 4am and a lady wants to come clean my bathroom.
Right now?
Seriously?
If I were sleeping & she woke me for THAT, I'd be pissed.
Yesssss. New drugssssss.
Who drinks tea / coffee at 5am?!
People are stupid.
Nurse: "You're a very nice patient. Quiet".
It's the drugs, lady.
The Help is on.
I could pull of a Southern accent pretty darn well.
*Mumbles something slurred*
I wonder if Emma Stone will marry Andrew Garfield?
She should organize with Ryan Gosling rather.
*Sigh*. Ryan Gosling.
[Day of checkout is here]
So much tiredness.
Last meal for the day.
Not even slightly hungry.
But yes, of course I can eat the dessert.
Mom's here. I can checkout!
I can go home & sleep!
Where's the nurse to get this pipe out my arm??
Me: "Omg no Mommy, you cannot pull it out. Do you want me to die?"
Nurse: "Bite your teeth. This is gonna hurt".
MOER.
Oh look, I no longer have hair on a patch of my arm from the massive sticker thing that just ripped it all out. Can I get pain meds for that?
No?
K.
Cool.
Thanks.
*DEUCES*
