Oh Alice

So I recently saw the new Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland, which is a remake of the 1951 version. Tut tut tut

*Note that they are both produced by Disney. 

My opinion of the film? I didn't like it. And the more i think about it, the more i dislike it. If you think you're going to watch a newer, 21st Century, CGI'd version of  the classic Alice story, think again. It's a totally different movie. Different story, different characters... it's just NOT Alice In Wonderland. In its most basic form, it is essentially a battle of Good vs. Evil. Which clearly we haven't seen over and over again.

I should warn you, this blog post contains spoilers. So don't read on if you're going to bitch.

Both films are based on Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventure In Wonderland, but the older version sticks more religiously to the first story. Burton's Alice includes characters and elements from both Alice In Wonderland and the sequel Through the Looking-Glass.

Such characters include a character played by Anne Hathaway called the White Queen (Chronicles of Narnia, anyone?), and she has this way of walking that annoys me. Imagine holding up your arms away from your body, almost as if you are hugging the air, keeping your fingers mostly relaxed and gently glide whenever you move. AH! NOY! ING!!

The most notable difference is obviously how visually different everything looks. The characters have had an 'upgrade' if you will. Personally, i really loved the Cheshire Cat in this version.

He was more playful, more interesting, and just more visually appealing. But Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, im a bit unhappy with.

Generally speaking, i can't hate on the roles that Depp plays. Taking his role as Jack Sparrow in Pirates of The Caribbean for example, you'd struggle to think of anyone that could have played the role better.

But for the Mad Hatter, i can't say that he was the best man for the job. I think i would have preferred the role of the Mad Hatter to have gone to comedic actor Martin Short: 

Maybe he's too old, what do i know? Maybe it's not even Depp's fault. I suppose not. In reality what bothered me was the fact that in the previous version, the Mad Hatter didn't really have a moral compass. He was simply mad. End of story. Whereas in Burton's version, he becomes Alice's accomplice. And for some reason his accent shifts to Scottish (seriously, why?). There's also a point at near the end of the movie which i hated so much and, in that moment i knew that the movie was officially ruined for me; It's the part when 'Hatter' does this pointless and stupid dance at the end of the movie called "The Funderwhacking". My eyeballs nearly popped out of my head expressing my "Oh My God... WHY?!" thoughts. That was truly the stupidest thing Burton could ever do and i physically felt myself lose respect for him at that moment.

If they had changed the title, perhaps even though i would still dislike the movie, i'd probably dislike it less. They could have avoided this rant of mine completely if they had just named it Alice in Wonderland 2, or Alice Returns To Wonderland, or even Alice 2.0  or something relevant like that because that is exactly what happens. Man i'm pissed just thinking about that movie. 

If you hate corny, predictable 'good triumphs over evil' plots, or if the idea of typical Disney films that HAVE to have a moral to them grosses you out, then don't bother watching this movie. (i know i'm bashing on Disney, which is wrong seeing as I ADORE Disney and owe many many whack beliefs to Walt, but it's undeniable). 

Burton, you dissapoint and have angered my love for stories in all their Classical glory. So suck it.