Honesty

Am I a bad person?

Does too much honesty make one a bad person if the truth never changes anything and only makes the other person resent you and hate you for a) telling them the hurtful truth, but also b) 'lying' to them all this time?

I just got into an argument with a very close friend of mine over this. 

Basically, I argued that in almost 10 years of our friendship, apart from birthdays, she never ever bothered to try an arrange a time and place for our group of friends to get together. I told her this made me feel as if she took us for granted.

This made her mad.

She started yelling at me, saying it wasn't her fault that she could never arrange anything because (and here's where the lame excuses come) of things like never having a lift or a car.

10 years.

Not once.

I asked her if she could give me an example of an occasion where she DID make an effort. She said she couldn't, but that she couldn't understand why this meant I thought she takes our friendship for granted.

Now she won't talk to me. She thinks I was being "fake" for all these years because I never told her before that this is how I felt. 

I told her that I did not think that for 10 years, I only realised it now, and that I wasn't purposefully trying to hurt her, because that was not my point.

I just wanted to spend time with her. I want her to WANT to spend time with me. Enough so that she actually puts effort into it and doesn't make me the driving force that keeps our friendship alive.

I wanted her to know that this is how I felt.

Isn't that what friends are for? Knowing you can tell them anything, that they won't judge you; that they will understand you; that they will be there for you when you need them; that they will make you feel better?

Is this really so bad?

Am I terrible person for telling one of my best, closest of friends how I feel? 

Now she won't talk to me. Now she's hurt. And I sit here, feeling guilty for telling her how I feel, when I just as easily could have shut my mouth and go on resenting her.

Maybe I'm delusional. 

Maybe I have too much of Gregory House in me.

Maybe people just don't want the truth about themselves, and anyone who breaks that seal is a mean, horrible person.

How can I ever be completely honest with her if I know this is how she'll react?

Is honesty really the best policy?

So again, I must ask you, 

Am I a terrible person?